This is a quote from a book called Twelve by Twelve, by William Powers.
“We imagine that the caterpillar, knowing that it is time, goes to sleep in its womblike cocoon and wakes up a smiley, happy butterfly. That’s not what happens. As biologist Elisabet Sahtouris explains, the caterpillar devotes its life to hyper-consuption, greedily eating up nature’s bounty. Then it attaches itself to a twig … and encases itself in chrysalis. Once inside, crisis strikes: its body partially liquefies into broth.
“Yet, perhaps guided by an inner wisdom, what Sahtouris calls ‘organizer cells’ go around rounding up their fellow cells to form ‘imaginal buds.’ These multicellular buds begin to bloom into an entirely new organism but not without resistnace. The caterpillar’s immune system still functions and thinks that the imaginal buds are a virus and attacks them.
“But the imaginal buds resist – and ultimately prevail – because they link together, cooperatively, to become a beautiful butterfly, which lives lightly, regenerates life through pollinating flowers, and migrates over vast distances, exploring life in ways that would have been incomprehensible to the caterpillar.
“…people I was meeting were undergoing this transformation, not alone but in a network of hundreds of thousands of other ‘imaginal buds’ throughout … the United States and the world. By allowing themselves the space to change, instead of clinging out of fear to what they knew, they were embarking on this transformative journey.”
What felt so encouraging to me in reading this was the concept that the transformation is attacked from within by its own former self. Which is what seems so often to describe what I perceive inside myself. And yet the “imaginal buds” ( I LOVE that image) prevail. So much hope and optimism in those thoughts and encouragement to keep forming and feeding those “imaginal buds.”

I think one of the ways that we block our flow is by inwardly pushing and criticizing ourselves rather than connecting with our own deep values and intentions and then acting from there.

Here’s a self-connection exercise that addresses this question. It will probably take about 20-30 minutes to do, but I’m guessing it will be time that surprises you.

1. Take 5 minutes and write down every “should” and “have-to” that comes into your mind, ones you tell yourself, as well as ones you hear others tell you or imagine that others are thinking about you.

2. Now read through them and pick the one that has the most emotional charge for you. (You can go back later and do this process on each of them one by one, if you care to)

3. Read the one you picked over to yourself a couple of times, and then just write all your stream of consciousness thoughts that come up around this issue for about 5 minutes or so until you feel the “steam” subside.

4. Now take the feelings cards, go through the deck, and pick out all the feelings cards that name feelings that fit this situation for you.

5. Next, go through the needs cards and pick out all the needs cards that fit this situation.

6. Spend a few minutes just reading these cards and feeling whatever comes up for you.

7. Now look at the original statement you started with, the “should” or “have-to” statement. See if you can now make a new statement of intent that starts with “I choose to…,” related to this situation. You might be surprised what statement comes up at this point.

8. No matter WHAT comes up while doing this exercise, practice just looking at it, being with the thoughts and feelings, letting everything have space to present itself into your consciousness without pushing anything away.

If you feel moved to do so, write a comment below or email me with how this worked out for you.

self-responsibility
I will endeavor to always acknowledge, and seek to understand more fully, my part in having created the circumstances in which I find myself, including my shared responsibility for co-creating things that seem bigger than I can understand, thus safeguarding myself from victim thinking and adversarial thinking and acting.

cooperation
I will endeavor to creatively seek ways in which everyone gets what they want and need, including those who cannot speak up for themselves.

SPRING

Poppa Neutrino asked me this question the other day: “What percentage of your life is pleasurable?” What I realized in checking myself out before answering was that almost ALL of my life is pleasure-able, meaning it is something that contains pleasure for me, if I pay attention to that. There are actually only a few things, such as fighting with  my dog over how we walk together, or how much she barks, which are not pleasurable. So then I have to wonder, if I am not FEELING this pleasure sensation most of the time, what is standing in the way? In my case, just old habits of having a lens that sees what needs to be done or what I wish were different, and I can easily shift (now, after years of work) my focus and voila! I am suddenly noticing AND FEELING joy and beauty. It’s always there, and just a small shift of focus can change everything.

So how does this relate to NonViolent Consciousness? I realize that when I am using my mind to focus on thoughts or ideas that prevent me from seeing and feeling the beauty and wonder all around me and within me, I am actually doing violence to my spirit.

Caveat: in no way am I proposing an attitude of repressing or ignoring the difficulties and sadnesses, the sufferings going on all around us all the time, nor am I suggesting avoiding action on these situations when possible and warranted. What I AM saying is, you can see all this AND at the same time, be aware of the other side of the coin, the beauty and optimism inherent in being alive.